Throughout his career, as a magician, Tommy Cooper came out with an array of funny one-liners.

"Here we have a skipping rope. So we'll skip that!"
2000 Milk Bottles
Aeroplane Seat
No Ceiling
Chinese Waiter
Cold Chicken
Stradivarius
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Frogs Legs?
One Leg Shorter
Getting Wed
Banana Ears
Headache
Homesick
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Jumbo Jet
Limerick
Cold Lobster
Poster
Meal
Whisky
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Feet Killing Me
One Leg Shorter
Water Water
Red Carpet
Bad Foot
Bike Present
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Wee Willie Winkie
Gravy
Home Two Weeks
Never Walk Alone
Bill Bailey
Faith Healer
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Bun
Majorca
Coconuts
Motorbike
Golf Ball
Horse Riding
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Humpty Dumpty
Doorstep Milk
Bank Robber
Chicken Plucker
Drive to Grave
Chicken
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Police Message
Chinese Trick
Kids
Sunbathing
Dog
My Boy
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Hole in One
Rocking Horse
Horse
Police Lump
Smoke in Bed
Antique Shop
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A Friend in Need
Best Wife
Boarding House
Barbeque
Dentist
Broken Arm
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Dog and Biscuit
Fashion
Flying to USA
On The Couch
Watching a Fly
Front Door
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Impression
Getting a Dog
Doctor Visit
Mind Over Matter
How Do You Feel?
Gregory Peck
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To Say This
Greyhound Racing
Aspirin
Magic Wand
Horse
Titanic
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All sounds on the Tommy Cooper one-liner page retain their original copyright as owned by their respective production companies. All sound files are for educational, research, criticism, or review for audio purchase purposes. This Site holds no liability from misuse of these sound files.